A Display Advertisement Critique!
by Chris Kammer, DDS - "The Advertising Dentist"

In one of the first drafts of this ad sent to me by Dr. John Hartman, I recommended changing some of the wording. For example, the line in the upper right corner of the ad originally said... "You'll be amazed at what cosmetic dentistry can do... in as few as four appointments... in as short as five months time." That certainly didn't sound like a short amount of time to me. So I recommended speaking in more general terms and say instead, "You'll be amazed at what cosmetic dentistry can do for you in far less time than you can imagine."

Another sentence in the first draft mentions that patients "will be treated to the very latest in rebuilding, resurfacing, and laminating procedures."

That description sounded like someone was submitting their face to become a tabletop. So I once again suggested softening the description to "you will be treated to the very latest in comfortable treatments to beautify your smile." Dr. Hartman's ad agency made their own modifications on my suggestions and they came up with this proof. ---->

While continuing to assist Dr. Hartman in fine tuning full-page dental ad to be run in Indianapolis Magazine, I called upon Howie "MORE Unlimited New Patients" Horrocks:

Hi Howie,

Here's the ad I was talking about. I don't like it and here's why:

- Can't see teeth (too small to see a "before" and "after" benefit)
- Headline should be at the top
- Color scheme rather bland (dull green background)
- Major benefit is at end of ad (free computer vision of your new potential smile) but I don't think people will read that far
- A better headline might be...
  ”SEE THE FUTURE AND SMILE!” or “SEE HOW GREAT YOUR SMILE CAN LOOK WITH OUR COMPUTER IMAGING!”
- Bad Logo
- Needs a distinctive and memorable practice name

The last two are the most important!

You really don't get the excitement of what's possible from the little print this ad.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Chris Kammer
"The Advertising Dentist"

Here is the response letter from William Howard Horrocks:

Dear Chris,

I agree with most everything you said about the ad. That is, can't see the before and after teeth shots, major benefit is at the end, the layout isn't very good, bad logo (tooth roots should be outlawed), no name for the practice and so on.

There is a positive to the ad in that it's at least different as far as it's look or appearance goes. This alone will attract some attention.

The first thing that struck me about the ad is that you should never print a large amount of text in reverse. It's too hard to read. And the type size throughout the ad is impossibly small. Combine the small type size with the reverse out and you have an ad that is virtually unreadable. If an ad is hard to read - people won't read it. To go further, the name and address of the practice is in even smaller type than the rest of the already too small type. If you want to attract affluent baby boomers then make it so their aging eyes can read it.

I might disagree with you on the headline. It's not bad actually, in that it does give the reader a hope of a benefit. (They don't have to put up with the teeth they have now. Something can be done about it.) And it does so in a fairly clever way. But personally I don't like to use words like "stick" and "stuck" in a dental ad. The obvious reference to needles is not a good idea.

You didn't mention the medium this is going to appear in. Yellow pages, direct mail, print ad? If it's a direct mail piece it should have some sort of offer. I don't think the free video imaging is strong enough. Half off teeth whitening would be much stronger. And whatever the offer is it should be more prominent. So if all they read is the offer they will at least know what they can get.

I'd put the headline at the top, make the smile on the stick really big, make the woman holding it really big, even crop it down so her face and the stick teeth fill up the page. Don't use any reverse type. The copy itself is not too bad but the offer should be all by itself inside a sunburst or other device to make it stand out. The caption for the before and afters at the bottom is bad. I don't want it to take "months" I want it to take minutes, even hours would be OK but not months. If you add up the chair time for veneers we're talking - what - three hours? Say three hours then.

To make the ad even stronger I would get a testimonial from the patient who is holding the stick. Put that where the right hand side copy is. "I thought I'd have to live the rest of my life with bad looking teeth. But Dr. Hartman gave me a movie star smile in two visits, and it didn't break my budget."

Or something like that.

I think the idea of the ad is fine = you don't have to put up with what you have now, it can be made better. It's just that the presentation is almost self defeating.

Those are my thoughts.

William Howard "Howie" Horrocks New Patients,Inc.

After sharing the above recommendations with Dr. Hartman and his ad agency, we received the final ad which in some ways is a better ad and in some ways is not.

Comments: With the Model enlarged, we can now see that she has a very pretty smile and apparently the smile on the stick was her old smile. To further the point, it would have been nice to have seen the old smile looking a little darker and a little dingier in order to have a more significant contrast. However, the model is very striking, has a pretty smile and stands out better on a light blue background on this ad as opposed to the dark green background on the earlier proof. Unfortunately, the headline was not placed on the top as per the recommendation of Howie and myself. And, now it's in reverse in a very light background and extremely hard to read. However, the rest of the text is much easier to read since it's a dark text on a lighter background which is an improvement over the earlier proof.

The testimonial quote is very good, however it is not signed by anybody.

To make the ad more legitimate, you have to have some actual person's name following that wonderful quote.

You've probably never seen a full-page ad where the business name is as small as it is on this one. I certainly would recommend printing the name of the business quite a bit larger. I also prefer a name that describes what the focus of the business is all about. Our real names don't tell much of a story. Fortunately, the tooth logo is gone and a new, more modern logo is in its place.

The great offer of the complimentary computer vision of your smile is no longer there and has been replaced with "call for a free smile evaluation." We've gone from the high-tech to apparently low-tech. So, I would have preferred the way it was started in the earlier proof because it is a much better call to action for the readers of the ad.

All in all, I give Dr. Hartman credit for running an overall striking and good-looking full-page ad in his city's monthly magazine. And, we will keep track of the progress of Dr. Hartman's upcoming print ads in future issue.

Chis Kammer, DDS
“The Advertising Dentist”

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